Success!!

Why do people always have to associate money and position with success? This goes out to all of you out there who had weird funny little dreams that you somehow grew out of it after going through different phases in life.

Success should be something that is personal. If you don't find money and position as success but you find being able to be the world's greatest shopper or maybe the best plumber as success, why the hell should others have a say on it?

One of the most valuable lesson that I've learned after paying a really high price is if you really want something, make it happen and don't let anything influence you to make it smaller. Dreams are made to be big, not small, if it's small, it's not a dream, it's more like a thought or something like that.

Break.sticine.

Here's a less than 30 seconds stop motion animation that me and Annie has made. It isn't exactly good or fancy at all. Do pardon the ugly looking plasticine man that me and Annie has made him/her to be. D:

It's our first try so try not to be so critical!! :(

Freedom.Is.A.Lie

Here's my rendition of Freedom. A BIG PHAT LIE!! :/

Ignorance.is.bliss.

Today's a wee bit different for me as I managed to wake up early thanks to a wake up call to go for a tarantula mini exhibition in Sunway University College. Was supposed to help out a fellow friend or otherwise now known as my mentor in the tarantula keeping scene to not only carry stuffs around but also to help him minimize his boredom but I didn't wanted to because bed seems to smell much better than traffic jams and parking fees. Yes, I'm a cheapo!

The thing about today and as well as after last night is that I have got this sudden realization and of course, as always, the urge to rant it out in my humble Amazing blog. Well, last night after getting off over a childish argument across a local forum with an extremely egoistic person that managed to put off 3 forumers that actually got sick and tired of replying her and plus this morning's phone call chat with my mentor regarding this guy who knows nothing about arachnids but yet intends to deliver uninformative talks about tarantulas, I have realized how ignorant one can actually be.

It is weird how people rather fight for their stand and get all stung up defensive over a certain matter that is clearly their own wrong doing than just move along and admit their wrong doings. How it takes so much for some people to just say "I'm sorry" or "I apologize" and seek for the better. After all, aren't we all just humble beings dwelling in a tiny planet called earth? Even animals make mistakes, let alone us, humans. I am not exactly mad or ticked off with people who have problems like this, but more or less, I think we as the so-called newer generation should actually observe and learn from others mistake to learn a thing or two about life.

And hence, something that I would like to share with you guys as well about what I've learned through this. Yes, it is true when words of wisdom would usually tell you to be independent and stand up for yourself when the time comes. But as how it goes for other philosophies in life, is that it should be cultivated in a moderate way and not in an extreme way. Independent in a sense where you try not to count on others too much but still if you can't manage to seek answers after efforts of figuring it out yourself, isn't it high time to start asking someone? Yes, you might find it easy to do so but through my experience dealing with people, many don't find it easy to do. These people would rather waste their time doing it the hard way and even when help is offered, they still would refuse it.

Worst is when mistakes happen, they would still rather fight for their stand until the end of days and never let go than just apologize, admit their wrong doings and seek for a solution. Why live such a harsh life when opting for an easier one is just a small step away? Especially when many others have already preceded you because they managed to let down their ego and seek for help. At the end of the day, does your principle really matters that much? Even using the simplest form of mathematics, you should be able to gauge which actually worth more. The price that you have to pay just won't worth while at all, I personally know many of these people and unfortunately some of them are even my family members. Life hasn't been kind to them at all, especially towards the end of their days, they lead a lonely and miserable life that is filled with hatred and envy. Ignorance still is bliss? I don't think so. =)

Dreams.Achievements.Goals.Life.

A beautiful Sunday has just passed and well, figured that I'd probably want to blog about a thing or two that I've managed to learned today from a person who is close to me. As always, holidays were great times to spend your days in bed sleeping the day off and of course for me, theres always a bonus of company by my fellow eight-legged house mates and of course my Annie. Well my day today started off at 4pm where I woke up from an uber slumberish rainy evening. Woke up straight off bed and started washing up a little and decided to go for a meal. It was then, I was speaking to this person who told me how many of her dreams got crushed and destroyed because of how things were going on for each and every one of them. It was a story of how an ambitious girl that turned into a girl who is now blind in her direction in life.

Now it was hell of a story that I would seriously like to tell you guys but well unfortunately for you guys it wasn't the story that was important to me but more or less, the effect that the story has been brought to me after listening to it. It reminded me of my childhood years and my teenage years. Those days where I wished that I didn't exist at all. How many of my dreams were all crushed and how I lost all my strength and courage to carry on in anything that I intended to do. During my primary school times, I used to be this shy little fat boy that was rebellious, naughty and bad in studies. Nobody actually liked me and in fact, nobody would ever come close me. Even my relatives didn't exactly liked me. It was pretty hell-ish for a little boy like me being the black sheep, those kinda kid that you would rather hide him away when people come over for house visits.

Mum and dad was never exactly proud of me, my results were crappy and if there is one thing that nobody can do that I can do, it was being a bad ass bully in school and mountain trekking. Nobody was ever at home when I was young and I never did liked to go home because of that. Usually after school, I would go to a hill behind my school which I would trek the hell all the way up and enjoy the view up there all by myself thinking about a lot of things. It is true, that from primary school up till early years of college, I was indeed a very lonely person despite having so-called "friends" around me which I don't even remember their names. I was a fan of singing too, I used to sing songs real loudly to overpower the sound of thunder when it rained.

Oh well, those were my childhood days, said my goodbye to it on a Friday evening when I finally finished my UPSR and walked out of the school alone having well, a tear in my eye. I regretted the fact that I definitely won't be remembered for I was a bad kid and also the fact that I did not confessed myself to a girl which I have had a crush since 9 years old. It took me exactly 7 years to actually tell her how much I adored her and how I still remember the first time she stood up for me when nobody did. I told her that during the ending years of high school. Boy, high school sure did looked great to me at start. It was a brand new start, a fresh new born me. The first year was great for me, to my surprise is that I met the same girl which I have had my crush back in primary school again! I thought god was kind to me, that I'm now given second chances for everything that I have regretted for.

I vowed to myself that I shall never spring up for a fight no matter whatever the reason is. I wanted to change, and it was no shame to say that no matter how quiet and how I put up my strong face, I was desperate for love and attention. I tried and for the first time in my life, I was doing everything so well during the first year of high school, I had a friend who was a high scorer back in primary school and I came to know this girl which I had shared moments with but never started anything. During the second year, that best buddy of mine who was a high scorer decided to leave the school for a better school. And there you go, I was all alone again. I hated being alone, and for some apparent reason I hid myself away from everyone and vowed never to give my heart to anyone. I became this weirdo that always tend to hide myself away. In a week, I would skip 2 to 3 days school just to sit on that very staircase on a park to feel that breeze.

I still remembered how it felt, sitting all alone with nobody at all, smelling the greeneries and feeling that soft, calm and soothing breeze. It was serenity to me, but reality wasn't. It was no doubt that it took a lot of hardship from my parents to raise me and it was thanks to their patience and effort that I'm here today. My life in high school slowly turned into something no different to my primary school life. I adored singing so much that I wanted to join the school's choir group but boy the day when I had my audition, I was so nervous that I was chewing a whole deck of Wrigley's while singing with half of my body soaked in sweat. I hated myself for being such a shy boy, I wanted to sing so much but I just wasn't cut for it. I just don't know anything at all that I'm actually good at. I was bad in studies, bad in sports, failed in singing and I was a social victim.

Life was really bad for me back then, all up to when I was 15 years old. My brother introduced me to the one thing that changed my whole life completely. He was forming a band back then and he was short of a band mate. I still remember how it felt like, the first time I walked in to the studio, I somehow knew that I was destined to that guitar look-a-alike instrument that had only 4 really thick strings. I picked it up and I then I was tutored by my brother and his friends who taught me how start on it. It was all about the music since then, I started off playing in studios having a bunch of friends coming over to watch and pay for our jamming fees to hopping on stages. My first ever time standing on stage in front of hundreds were during the time where we had to do this performance for my brother's college. I was so nervous and shy I hid myself behind and played really silently. I was like that for the first few performances until finally my name was shouted from the crowd. I figured that I have found my life finally even though there were so many people discouraging me.

I used to stay up till 3am in the morning writing songs. Holding my brother's acoustic guitar, strumming, humming and singing songs in which never did made any sense. I used to tell my parents and relatives that my only dream is to be a successful musician, to stand on a stage in front of millions of people singing my heart out. Though they were mean to me, but I knew that they were only thinking for me own good. They were so discouraging and told their sons and daughters that I will turn out to be someone useless. The only person that probably stood beside me at all times were probably myself. I used to cry myself at night after every conversation about my infatuation in music. By the time when high school was over, I was the lowest scoring among my friends and family. When it came to the point where I had to pick a course to study, I was laughed at when I said I wanted to be a journalist. They all was laughing at how a person like me who never spent any of his time reading can be a journalist.

I took the beating really well, some may say. But it did took me a lot. Nobody actually did knew about how I had to go through some nights that were filled with tears. Nobody also knew about how I would go to college during the day, work as a waiter during night time and then later on going for band rehearsals during midnight. College was for my studies, work was to pay my expenses in music and well rehearsals were for performances and competitions. All was well worth it when my band won first runner up in a battle of the bands competition. I simply couldn't believe it. The song for the finals was written by me and it brought us there. I received a huge disc as a reward and a chance to record my song in a CD. I left the band there after due to many conflicts and well, god knows whatever happened to it after that. It was that point, that my life changed. Everyone had different opinions about me and had different words to speak to me. I was also called off an on by some of the local bands to be a temporary member in their band.

After all those, I finally decided to quit as I believe that i have already spent my fair share of 5 years in the local music industry and it was time to move on in reality. After finally finding my true passion, I switched to a new college for a brand new start. It was here where I actually felt appreciated for. It was here that I was being labeled as a good networking person. Life was never bad here even up till now, I still feel the same. It was where I met Annie in accident and how now she has turned in to more than just a girlfriend or even a wife. It was where I finally found time to chase back my old interests and that was in tarantulas and of course, enjoying my life. It was also here where I have found wealth. But it is only now, that I have realized how blind I was I was when I was in primary school up till I was 18 years old. How I was so low in confidence that it led myself in to many gloomy places before. It is then, after that tiny little glorification that I finally found myself.

Life is a big mystery as what they always say, but if I were to give advice to that person that has given me this insight, I would actually tell her that dreams we always have, but it takes more than just plain liking to convert dreams to true goals in life and of course after that, it will take even more to seek achievements out of them. Yes, I do agree that I myself have yet to achieve anything big yet but still, I believe that all it requires is a passionate heart and the courage to fail and dream to actually make your dreams come true. We can never stop how others choose to look at you and how others choose to label you. Being ignorant of how others think about you isn't a good thing but still, being too concerned in pleasing everyone around you will lead you no where as well. Be both humble and proud. Proud for the achievements that you have had be it small or big and yet humble to accept new ideas and advices that may be good and discard those which are bad. Life is not about winning and not about living up to others expectation, life is simple, it's about having one, and living it well. So start living and stop thinking. =)

Look.Outside.The.Box?

It's funny how sometimes when you look at yourself after you get all freaked out and mad during an argument. How disgusted you are when you put yourself in a third person's view towards the whole scene. Don't know about you guys, but it sure looks like a primary school class fight of the year to me most of the time. The atmosphere with heightened expressions and people screaming at each other, sometimes involving hurting one another or oneself.

Though I myself don't practice it but I certainly do wish that during those moments no matter happy, sad, mad or glad, we would actually take some time out to view it from a third person's view instead of being contented and stuck in our own personal views. By viewing the situation as a whole, I believe we would actually find a greater solution towards many things rather than the childish acts that we do.

Finally.an.update?

Hey guys, it's been quite a while since my last post(more like ages lol). With the uber crazy final assignment week I had and also with the amount of time I had to spend for my arachnids and my annie, barely had any time left to actually blog about them. So here's a list of updates that I have had for the past few weeks(or was it months?) D:

• Managed to pull off final projects although was having pretty bad luck with my group members.
  
  
• Adopted 4 tarantulas from a friend in Sepang who had trouble keeping tarantulas due to his room mate's arachnophobia.
  
  
• Adopted 1 tarantula from a friend of mine who recently gave up on the hobby.
  
  
• Adopted 1 scorpion and 2 tarantulas from my brother who figured that he got too many responsibilities and decided to let go some of them.
  
  
• Started culturing a small colony of 25 feeder roaches, Blaptica Dubia.
  
  
• Started building DIY glass tanks for my tarantulas with the help of Dennis.
  
  
• Getting more and more in love with Annie.
  

• Been going on a Japanese cuisine diet that burned not a hole but two holes in both my wallet and Annie's purse.

I think thats about it for this round's list, well at least the important ones. Well, to dedicate this first post after months of inactivity, I bring you, the Pandinus Imperator, otherwise known as the African Emperor Scorpion which is one of the largest species of scorpion known in the world. This little one here, is from ma' brother, Shaun. :)



Well, since the storm is pretty much over already, I suppose I'll be posting up more updates more often now.

Cheerios!!